My family is the ones I love more than anyone on this earth. Not an uncommon thing. Why do I need to tell you this? So you will know that when I also tell you I do not have one not a single photo of my family together since 2009!
I take photos all the time. In fact I made sure I took some of me this summer because I don’t have many as I am vain and the family photographer. One that would be fired if I hired her!
I enjoy taking photographs. I am not very detail oriented or a very effective paper organizer. That include photos.
This fact which is usually a mere inconvenience was a big hinderance last night as Love Princess and I hunted through photo files in Picasa, in Shutterfly and in iPhoto for a family picture. It was midnight! Not a good thing at all. She does go to school and the bus comes early.
Oops! The most recent one of all our children and grandchildren was 3 years ago. I knew this but ignored it. Gosh, my son was home for a month this summer during our summer health crisis that included Husband’s surgery and Love Bug’s scheduled one for cleft palate repairs Those come around in some form about every 18 months between tooth extractions, day procedures and actual surgeries. When he got in the car to return to his home, I thought, “No photo taken! Rats!”
Last night the magenta ink was gone and printing for the school autobiographical project was in black and white. Rats!
Then the blue was gone too! Thank goodness the black did not give out! My poor artistic daughter who is a creative perfectionist had to use old black and white printed photos. She was brave. And I fought the feeling of not measuring up!
I could get hopping but the juggling of stuff is just too much sometimes!
As I looked through those saving sources I realized they had become my junk closet. A frightening idea!
It is said we can not declutter well if we are stuck somehow in our emotional lives. Well, I am not a hoarders exactly. At least this will not make any of us sick. But as I look around my study with the boxes of almost finished scrapbook pages and saved photos that I foolishly removed from old style photo books and the scads saved over thirty years of marriage I am overwhelmed and sad too. I cannot even enjoy the memories and beauty of the photos because there are too many and the really sad part is there are ugly photos!
Frankly the vast numbers of the photos unseen by anyone of me is just wrong. I can’t enjoy them nor can my children. Pitiful.
When we first returned from East Asia, I went through photos as a process I later recognized as grieving. I went through photos when I extended the storage limit to delete. I went through them when I had to do a presentation. Missionaries do that you know! I deleted then. I didn’t stay with it because it was not only too much it was boring.
Evidently not enough! I have over 10,00 in iPhoto. I have way too many in Picasa. On Shutterfly I stopped storing because I can’t seem to retrieve them without distortion and resizing.
It is a time sink when I know these tools are supposed to be to help. I think I need help and I need to let go. I need to get “on the stick” and purposely deliberately methodically take care of this messy closet of mine!
Oh and let’s not forget….
take a photo of my family for crying out loud!